Many of us will get on the job training in leadership from our childhood.  I got mine as the oldest of four children of a working mom.  In my youth, I learned about shopping for groceries, creating a budget, cooking, and the need to keep my younger siblings quiet and safe while my mother, who worked at night, slept.   These are obvious lessons, but the one that almost snuck by me is the one that I got from my little brother.

Take care of your followers. 

We grew up in a northeast Washington, DC neighborhood in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s.  Back then, the unpaved streets were lined with mulberry trees and it was lost on me that we grew up in the capital city of the United States of America.  My world was quite small then.  Crossing a small creek a mere two blocks away was tantamount to Columbus crossing the Atlantic Ocean and finding the New World.  Yes, my world was quite small and up until about age 7, consisted of just me and my 6 year old sister Loreen.

Suddenly, this little creature came into our lives.  As I look back, I’m shocked to recall that the thing was actually 4 years old when I had my first memory of it.  We didn’t notice it until Loreen and I had the responsibility of getting it safely to pre-school every day.  It had a name.  Its name was David.  Life changed on his first day of school.  We had to take care of him.

My brother’s safe keeping was entrusted to us and we took our responsibility seriously.  We made sure he was safe, well-fed, and warm.  He knew how much we cared for him and he would do anything in the world to protect us.  I recall him getting the best of a boy twice his size just to protect me.  Today, I understand that leadership works the same way.  If you expect your followers to take on super-sized challenges, they won’t lift a finger unless they know you have their back and care about them.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” – John C. Maxwell

Colin Powell understood the importance of caring for followers as he led his troops.  He knew that if he cared for his followers and showed them kindness, they would never let him down.  If one of his troops brought him a problem, he learned that caring enough for them meant solving the problem right away.  Finally, he knew that people who care do a better job.  Without well cared for followers, there would be no leaders.

Expand your world and think big.

David was always curious and adventuresome.  He crossed that creek that ran through our neighborhood.  It was shallow and quite passable, but in our little world, it was as wide as the Atlantic Ocean.  He was the first to “climb” high.  He used to hide in the cherry tree in our yard, eating cherries then waiting for us to walk by so he could spit the seeds out at us.  He used to climb those mulberry trees during the season of the dreaded gypsy moths in their larva stage.  He would dip out a mayonnaise jar full of caterpillars and bring them into the house so his sisters could “admire them”.  And finally, plagued to this day by post nasal drip, this little nose miner loved to flick those nasty boogers on us poor unsuspecting girls.  Today, I think that in his own disgusting way, he was bringing his world to us.

Good leaders need stamina.

As a six-grader, my brother wanted to play the bass violin.  Its massive size dwarfed the little boy.  He used to put it in a shopping cart as we walked the several blocks on Saturdays to take music lessons in the DC Youth Orchestra Program.  It was heavy, but he pushed it uphill – even in the heat and high humidity of Washington, DC summers.  He’d practice for hours and hours at a time until he mastered his music.  His focus and stamina even as an 11-year-old are things that I remember to this day.

I ran into a colleague and asked him how things were going.  He said things were rotten.  Frustrated, he said that he could be successful if he had enough people and budget.  I thought, heck, no one has enough resources.  Being a good leader means that you accomplish the hard things.  You find a way to get by with scant resources, high pressure, or few people.  It also means that you bounce back from setbacks and you find a way to push through and make it work.  You need stamina and resilience.

I thank God every day, that Loreen and I didn’t smother this little boy in his crib.  Because we let him live, I got leadership lessons that have lasted a lifetime.  Today, David has grown from a booger-flicking flatulent nose miner to a successful musician, conscientious teacher, devoted husband, and a wonderful father.  I learned from him why it’s important for leaders to be “their brother’s keeper”.